Step One: Recruitment

I knew that as an entry-level agent, I'll be earning a fraction of what I was getting in my previous job. Which was not a problem for me; I just needed some money coming in so that I have something for the car and insurance payments. Food? At home I eat for free. And I have no problem scaling back my dietary consumption. (Strangely, I also noticed that I easily get full these days. Was that just a product of aging? Or was that my consciousness convincing myself to save on food costs?) Transpo? I needed a job in a place near home--less traffic, less gas consumption; just worry about overnight parking fees.

The first call center I went to was located approximately 7-10 minutes away from the house. But when I inquired there, they told me recruitment was at their main office in Cubao. So off I went.

When I stepped into the lobby, there were many young kids filling out application forms and waiting for their turn. I also saw one or two "older" guys; we were the ones quietly waiting by our lonesome; everyone else had friends or batchmates with them. It's like they needed the comfort of the herd to navigate this jungle called recruitment. Meanwhile, us oldies were lone hunters, quietly eyeing our competition. Well, most of us anyway. I saw one guy, probably older than me, looked like he was in over his head. Later on, just before the group interview started, he excused himself to go to the bathroom; he never returned.

After a few minutes of waiting, they called around 18 of us, and we were herded into a conference room. The chairs were flushed against the wall; in the middle was a huge conference table with a desktop on it. We were asked to occupy the seats and wait for the interviewer to arrive.

While waiting, the young'uns started chatting among themselves. "Pang-ilang center mo na ito?" "Saan ka ba nag-apply before?" "Naku, hindi ako pumasa doon eh!" "Kinakabahan ako." There were two other oldies aside from me; one left for the bathroom and escaped before the interview, and one was a 40+ year old guy who had a confident air about him. The way he was assuring the first-timers and giving them tips, I assumed he had worked in several BPOs before.

The two interviewers, a guy and a lesbian, came in. I thought both were fresh graduates--they looked so young! It didn't help that the taller of the two, the guy, looked like he can see eye-to-eye with Nora Aunor (whose height, so goes the joke, is 4'12"). The lesbian (yes she is, trust me, I'm not being judgemental!) was even shorter. I thought I was going to be interviewed by hobbits. (To be fair, the guy was too much of a twink to be a hobbit; he was also quite cute, and when I say cute, I mean "let's play with him like a toy" cute.)

Then they started talking to us. You know, before I applied to call centers, I used to hate Filipinos who'd put on this American twang or accent. Such a put on, such pretentiousness! But the more I saw the inner workings of a BPO, the more I realized that they were just doing their jobs. They're talking to Americans, and Americans have a hard time understanding someone speaking in English if they didn't have that familiar twaye-ng or aye-k-scent. (Eventually when I was on the floor, I noticed myself putting on a bit of that accent, depending on the caller.)

It made sense why the initial interview had to be a big group; with the number of applicants, Recruitment needed a quick way to trim off the ones who will have a hard time speaking and expressing themselves in English.

Oompa-Loompa Cutie wlecomed us, and introduced his fellow HR staffer, Oompa-Loompa Tibs, who busied herself at the computer typing God-knows-what during the whole process. We were asked to introduce ourselves, and say why we wanted to join that particular BPO. Then we were asked to pick a number corresponding to a question which we needed to answer, ala-Beaucon Q&A portion. I fought the urge to place my hands on my hips while answering.

When it came to me, I used my mother as the reason why I wanted to go into the BPO industry. "She's pushing 80 (a lie), so I went back to take care of her (another lie, but that one elicited a couple of "Awwws"), and now I needed a job near the house so I can be near her." My beaucon question was easy: "What do you do for recreation?" I mentioned watching theater (yeah right, show them how elitist I am!) and movies, and in the process gave a 5-minute review that compared and contrasted Justice League with Thor: Ragnarok ("JL isn't that bad, but DC's still finding its way; meanwhile, Marvel's got the superhero genere down pat, and now they're pushing its boundaries").

Needless to say, pasok ako sa finals.

Interestingly, while waiting for the rest to finish their turn, the 40+ year old guy who sat beside me (I should have picked up on that immediately) started whispering to me.

Him: "First time mo bang mag-call center?"

Me: "Uh-huh."

Him: "Alam mo ba kung magkano ino-offer nila dito?"

Me: "Uhm, 16 yata? Yun yung narinig ko."

Him: "Magaling ka eh. Apply ka sa kabila, doon puwede kang kumita ng 20 agad."

Wait a minute. What did he say?

Me: "Sa kabila?"

Him: "Pagkatapos dito, sama ka sa akin. Di ko tatapusin itong recruitment dito. Mas malaking sahod sa kabila, doon ka na."

It turned out the guy is already a Team Leader (fondly called TL) in another BPO down the street. His account was currently in a low-traffic period, so most of the members of his team were on Voluntary Time Off (they can be absent, but they don't earn anything). Apparently he was using his idle time to check out if there are greener pastures for him to move to, and at the same time, see if he can pirate applicants to go to his company. What a douchebag, but what a resourceful douchebag.

When I mentioned during my Q&A that I wanted to be posted in their Marikina office, Oompa-Loompa Tibs butted in, "Sorry, our Marikina office does not have an opening right now, are you okay with working in Cubao or in our Alabang office instead?" Of course I immediately replied, "Oh sure Cubao is fine," but what I really wanted to say was, "Naiintindihan ko pa yung Marikina to Cubao, pero Marikina to Alabang araw-araw?! Ano ka, kundoktora sa isang Alabang-Novaliches bus?!"

I knew I had to apply to another BPO.

Fortunately, one of the millennial bagets approached me and said, "Naghahanap ka sa may Marikina? May alam ako, sa Antipolo lang nga, pero malapit pa rin sa Marikina. May openings doon."

Ayun. (sings) "Tayo naaaa... sa Antipolo!"