For those who only knew of a world with internet and mobile devices, cruising was the main sport of gay men pre-world wide web. Urban Dictionary defines cruising as searching in public places, either on purpose or at random but on the lookout, for potential sexual partners. Before, there were not too many safe spaces for gay men to cruise in—those places needed to be a bit discreet and not too public or crowded. Public men’s toilets were the most popular—you get the discretion, a sense of privacy, and a more targeted market (no women, of course).
I began my cruising days inside movie theaters. Oftentimes the men standing at the back of the orchestra section (standing, even though there were lots of empty seats for them to take) would also be loitering around the men’s bathroom. They would usually stand in front of the mirror for an inordinately long time, pretending to be doing something but actually checking out the men who were coming in. Or they’d pretend to be peeing at a urinal, stealing glances at the cocks of the men beside them. There was a clear cruising route in cinemas: back of orchestra to men’s bathroom to side aisle and seats, then back again, in random order. Sometimes the men would also go up to the lobby of the second floor, where they’d check out the men’s bathroom for the lodge and balcony audiences.
Their movements were more discreet during the earlier screenings, because they didn’t want to spook the straight guys who were there to just watch a movie. But the rules changed when it was the last full show, especially if most of the audience left were fellow cruisers. By that time too, the evening guard would have gone through his rounds before the start of the screening, then leave everyone alone. That’s when the guys would let their freak fly.
There would be a bathroom bacchanalia where voyeurs got off on exhibitionists. I’ve seen a two-way turn into a three-way or even a group-way. Sadly, I’ve seen a group of guys already getting it on, allowing others to join in—provided they were young and attractive. If an old, wrinkly gay guy joined in (usually tentatively reaching out a hand to fondle one of them), someone from the group will push his hand away. If the old gay is persistent, that push will be accompanied by a stern glance that said, “Look only! No touch!” If that didn’t work, I’ve seen instances wherein the group actually packs up and move their activity into a cubicle, shutting out the unwanted guest. Ah, the way we discriminate against our fellow gays.
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So how does one navigate in a situation wherein words are seldom used, where silence is essential and almost everything is visually communicated?
Gay men developed a talent for reading people (and also “reading” a venue). That’s aura-han.
My best guess is that its etymology came from the way psychics read a person’s aura. For gay men, it’s reading all the context clues one can get just by looking at a person: how he’s dressed (Rich? Poor?), how he stands (Confident? Shy?), how he scouts the place, etc. I guess it’s what Sherlock Holmes (the Benedict Cumberbatch version) does, but specifically to check if a hook up can happen.
Aura-han was an important aspect of gay life. Developing one’s aura senses helped to identify “people like us” who are just around us. Cruising was the most obvious use for aura-han, but it helped when, in a crowd, you can sense another gay man’s presence. It helped me realize that gay men were everywhere, that we weren’t alone. It would take years for me to embrace my sexuality, and to not think that all gay men cruising were sad, desperate men. But at least I knew that gay men were not all flamboyant, effeminate types. We came in all sizes—fat, thin, young, old, rich, poor. And we all had a need to connect with one another, even if only in silence and in the dark.
P.S. – Nowadays I’m not familiar with the situation in public restrooms and in movie theaters. I fear things have changed, and those places can be riskier now. Do not engage if you cannot “read” a room and the people in it.
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