The Three Second Rule (Gay Guy Edition)

Google “3-second rule” and you’ll get rules about food that fell on the floor, basketball, or keeping your seat. But we gay guys have our own 3-sec rule, and it’s related to the hada process.

I don’t know how this rule was established. I’ve read somewhere that the straight world also has a 3-sec rule. In a bar, if a guy sees that a girl has made eye contact with him, he should approach her within 3 seconds, before self-doubt or bad thoughts prevent him from making a connection.

The approach of something wonderful

But for gay guys, it’s different. It’s about knowing how to properly identify another gay guy while in public; more importantly, it’s about figuring out if that gay guy is also interested in you.

Of course, today you only need to tap your smartphone or swipe to the right to know if someone’s interested in you. Back then, we had to navigate differently. And it taught us to be observant always and to be aware of context clues. The last thing a gay guy wants is to hit on some guy, who then turns out to be straight, so the gay guy is hit—literally—on the face by that guy.

So how does the 3-sec rule help in the hada? Let’s set up the scene first. You’re walking in a mall and you see a guy walking towards your direction. You fancy him; and from all context clues available (Does he have a keen fashion sense? Does he saunter or sashay? Does he have any hint at all of a pilantik in his movements?), there’s a possibility that he’s gay. And then it happens—you both locked eyes on one another.

Ordinarily, most people will immediately break off that eye contact. But because you’re interested in him, you employ the 3-sec rule. And it’s a two-part rule. The first part is this: try to hold his gaze for three seconds before you look away. That 3-sec hold is meant to convey: “Hey, I’m interested in you. Are you interested in me too?” And then afterwards, look away.

Since both of you are walking towards each other, that 3 seconds gaze should occur before you pass each other. Now comes the second part of the rule. As soon as he passes you, count one, two, three, then look back. If he also looked back to check you out—PAK! That’s it. Confeeeearmed. You can now approach him.

So that’s it. First, hold your gaze for one, two, three seconds. (Keep your gaze somewhere between neutral to friendly. Do not frown or do a Blue Steel pout on him; you’ll send mixed signals.) Then when he passes you, count one, two, three, then turn back to look at him. If he’s also turned around and looking at you—jackpot! Reel each other in.

What happens next is solely up to you guys.